Small Town Misfit

Eau Claire, WI
An officer was contacted by a Sutherland Hall resident who wanted to report that his roommate destroyed his coffee table.

The man told the officer his roommate had been drinking alcohol all day. The man said he left about three and a half hours earlier, and when he came back his coffee table was missing and wood splinters were on the floor.

Other residents on the floor told the man his roommate broke the table and then threw it down the garbage chute.

The officer was able to locate the man’s roommate, who admitted to breaking the table.

The man’s roommate said he fell on it, and told the officer he was upset by the man’s questions concerning the table because he was still mad at him from an incident that happened two days before.

The incident, the man’s roommate said, involved the man giving him a shot of what he said was alcohol. It turned out to be a glass of urine, he said.

While talking to the man’s roommate the officer could smell alcohol on his breath. A Preliminary Breath Test was given and registered at .12. The officer issued the man’s roommate a citation for underage drinking first offense and advised him that he should speak with his hall director about any other issues between him and his roommate.

Found in the Spectator

Rio Grande, NM
8:19 a.m. - An Hoy Recovery Center employee said two men showed up for the DWI class intoxicated. No report was wanted.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Atlanta, GA
A man walked into a bank on Piedmont Road and asked about the vault measurements, the bank’s vice president said. She said the man presented an ID that read Fulton County Tax Assessors — and he asked to measure the inside of the bank’s vault with a wheel measure. She didn’t let him near the vault and called security. The man walked outside and apparently started taking measurements of the rear of the building, she said. The man left, and she called police. When an officer arrived, they called the man. He said he was back in his Buckhead office, and he didn’t work for Fulton County but for a technology company. He would not provide a supervisor’s name or a contact number, but said he would return to the bank the next morning. The officer told the bank VP to call police if the guy showed up.

Found in Creative Loafing

Erie County, NY
A woman reports her children believe they saw a gorilla in the vicinity of Oakgrove Drive.

Found in the Bee News

Orange County, CA
A resident reported that a 13-year-old boy, who is bipolar, gave the resident’s 8-year-old son a bottle of cologne to drink, 7:44 p.m.

Found in the Orange County Register

Chico, CA
2:40 p.m. Information to citizen reported on the 1100 block of West Ninth Street. “Ongoing problems with one of the roommates having several odd friends over. Reporting party had one of the friends enter her locked room while she was asleep. Subject crawled into bed with her.”

and…

2:52 a.m. Suspicious circumstance reported on the 800 block of Flume Street. “Reporting party’s ex-boyfriend walked into reporting party’s home uninvited and turned on the A/C. Reporting party got upset and subject got on bike and fled.”

and…

2:44 a.m. Suspicious circumstance reported on the 2000 block of Amanda Way. “Short bald guy with glasses. Subject was trying to get into the apartment. He kept telling the reporting party he was looking for someone but kept changing the names of whom he was looking for.”

Found in the Orion

Westlake, OH
Police responded to a report of an accident on Rose Road on the afternoon of Sept. 17, but what they found was much more complicated.

Apparently a woman driving a pickup attempted to hit her neighbor, who was on a riding lawn mower.

She hit the man and also crashed into a tree in the yard.

The neighbor was unhurt but the driver of the truck suffered minor injuries from the impact with the tree.

The two had apparently been fighting earlier in the day. The woman claimed that her neighbor’s dog had bitten her granddaughter. No bite marks were found.

The woman was arrested for felonious assault and released the next day on $15,000 bail.

Found in the Cleveland Sun

Bedford Heights, OH
Police arrested an Elyria man, 38, after he admitted to steal-ing more than 20,700 pounds of stainless steel last week from an Aurora Road com-pany. Total value of the thefts was $31,191.

Found in the Bedford Sun Banner