Small Town Misfit

Durango, CO
11:58 a.m. A dog dialed 911 from the 300 block of Knolls Circle, east of Farmington Hill.

Found in the Durango Herald

Durango, CO
11:25 a.m. A hot tub was in a man’s front yard on La Plata Place, and it did not belong to him.

Found in the Durango Herald

Durango, CO
12:13 a.m. A man who sounded very drunk called 911 to ask for a ride to a bar, according to a report from the 300 block of County Road 214, south of Farmington Hill.

Found in the Durango Herald

Erie County, PA
Loose llamas were rounded up by deputies on Manchester Drive and returned to the owner.

Found in Bee News

Waynesboro, GA
Deputies are trying to sort out a fight involving a couple, a neighbor and a tampered power box.

The confusion started when officers were called to a Highway 56 trailer park where a Planters Electric employee discovered that the couple was stealing power.

According to the employee, the power had been illegally hooked back up after it was cut off for non-payment.

The homeowner gave the employee his neighbor’s name and said he’d done it against their wishes.

Deputies were called again three hours later when the neighbor allegedly began beating the couple for trying to get him in trouble.

He told officers the woman had agreed to have sex with him in exchange for showing them how to turn the power back on.

After a tutorial, the homeowner was sent to the liquor store while the woman stayed home and made good on her promise, the neighbor said, adding that he’d never actually touched the power box.

Due to conflicting stories, both parties were advised of warrant procedures.

Found in the True Citizen

Orange County, CA
Deputies responded to a welfare check call at 11:23 p.m. on Tuesday, Jan. 8 from a residence in Coto de Caza.

A woman on Hubbard Way reported that an iron had fallen on her husband’s head and she didn’t know what to do. The woman said she had called her insurance company before dialing 911.

The operator sent a deputy to check on the husband and called the Orange County Fire Authority for possible medical attention.

Found in the Orange County Regsiter

Lake Oswego, OR
11/2/07 2:09 p.m. In an alleged road rage incident, a BMW driver didn’t yield to a driver and then spit on his car and yelled profanities. The BMW also sped through a school zone near Jefferson Parkway. In response, BMW said it will consider discontinuing the “Jackass Overdrive Switch.”

Found in the Lake Oswego Review

Athens Georgia
Jackson County sheriff’s deputies were called to a Nicholson home early Thanksgiving morning after a 43-year-old woman knocked her husband unconscious with a potato during an argument, according to sheriff’s reports.

The woman told deputies that she and her husband started to argue in the kitchen about 1 a.m. Nov. 22. He had used an expletive to describe her, and she threw the potato at him, hitting him in the nose and causing him to pass out, deputies said. The couple told deputies that they had been drinking.

She told deputies that she didn’t mean to hit her husband and called police as soon as he fell unconscious. The man, who suffered from a large knot on his nose, told deputies he did not want to press charges. The woman was not arrested and no charges were filed.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Waynesboro, GA
An Augusta man came to Waynesboro with loving on his mind, but ended up with an aching in his head.

The man told police he met a Waynesboro woman on a chat line and agreed to visit her here for an afternoon rendezvous.

The couple was in an upstairs bedroom when another man, claiming to be the woman’s boyfriend, rushed in and threatened to “shoot (the Augusta man) in the head.”

The boyfriend allegedly hit him in the head with a pistol before stealing $50 from his pants pocket.

The Augusta man was ordered to leave and continued to get hit in the head as he tried to walk down the stairs in his underwear, the report said.

The woman and her sister retrieved the man’s clothes for him, and he called police after dressing inside his car and driving to McDonald’s.

Found in the True Citizen

Twinsburg, OH
An Edgebrook Crossing resident spotted an abandoned canoe along Tinkers Creek in Twinsburg at 5:30 p.m. April 23. A call to the number painted on the canoe was answered by Mohican Canoe Livery.

The employee who answered seemed surprised to hear the canoe was found. It had been missing since 1981. A theft report was never made. She said she’d come in with proof of ownership to reclaim the canoe.

Found in the Twinsburg Sun

Flathead, MT
1:34 a.m. A 17-year-old kid broke a window in Ferndale with his sword. He then ran off towards Lake County.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Charleston, SC
A man filed a complaint about an argument with his wife that turned a little violent (she bit, choked, shoved, and slapped him around). Then it turned really violent (she “tried to stick my penis in my butt”).

Found in the Charleston City Paper