Small Town Misfit

Charleston, SC
A man was caught trespassing in a downtown parking garage. When asked for identification, the man gave the officer court papers from a previous arrest for trespassing in another parking garage. As the officer was reading the document, the man asked “if I could get one last smoke in before going to jail,” and pulled a crack pipe out and put it to his mouth.

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Redwood City, CA
At 6:24 a.m. Feb. 3, a caller leaving for work from the 1200 block of Reese Street stated he heard water running and then noticed that his garden hose was placed in a hole that someone had cut in his neighbor’s convertible car, filling it with water. The malicious act occurred between 10 p.m. Feb. 2 and 6:30 a.m. Feb. 3. A suspect was named.

Found in the Peninsula Police Blotter

Chico, CA
6:20 p.m. Resisting a peace officer on the 2300 block of Forest Avenue. “…There is a male subject locked in the men’s bathroom entirely naked inside the stall. Subject has been in there for over 25 minutes.”

And…

10:56 p.m. Suspicious subject reported on the 200 block of Humboldt Avenue. “Female walked by reporting party’s house … she was totally naked and seemed very drunk.”

Found in the Orion

Chico, CA
7:04 a.m. Transient problem reported on the 100 block of East Fifth Street. “… Subject … has an ax, splitting firewood for his bonfire… now trying to drive to the Jesus Center with a load of firewood on the hood (of the car).”

Found in the Orion

Columbia, SC
A 30-year-old woman said she saw a car with four young men in it drive up to the North Main Street Citgo where she works. Two of them came into the store after a minute. She said the men come by the Citgo often, but on Jan. 29 they were acting suspiciously. When she walked down an aisle to see what the men were doing she saw one of them, fully exposed, urinating on the floor and a display shelf with items for sale. The men fled the scene quickly. Apparently they are known around the neighborhood as the “Stick Up Boys.”

Found in the Free Times

Tonawanda, NY
A Town of Tonawanda gas station attendant got an early Valentine’s Day present that he didn’t want Wednesday night.

While the man was working his shift around 9:30 p.m., Lewis S. Mancini, 56, allegedly entered the store and gave the man a Valentine’s pillow, according to reports. Mancini then allegedly gave the man a nude photograph of himself with his phone number written on the back, and when the man looked back up Mancini had dropped his plaid shorts to expose himself, according to reports.

After the exposure, Mancini allegedly pulled up his shorts and took off running toward his apartment. When police followed the tracks of Mancini’s sandals left in the fresh snow to his door and confronted him about the incident, Mancini allegedly admitted to the exposure, claiming that he liked the attendant, according to reports.

Found in the Tonawanda News

Tracy, CA
10:59 a.m.: Someone broke locks off a door and left behind “dirty magazines and feces on the doorstep” on the 500 block of West Eaton Avenue.

Found in the Tracy Press

Kalispell, MT
7:47 p.m. A Kalispell man called in because his wife whacked him on the head with a frying pan.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Brooklyn, OH
Workers at the Ohio License Bureau in Biddulph Plaza got a surprise Feb. 1 when a man trying to renew a fake identification card jumped over the counter in an attempt to retrieve his ill-gotten goods.

Employees called police after they tried to confiscate the man’s original fake ID.

According to witnesses, the man leaped over the counter and wrestled the card away from a worker before fleeing in the direction of the Giant Eagle grocery store. Police were unable to locate the suspect and his female accomplice.

Found in the Brooklyn Sun Journal

Charleston, SC
A group of people leaving church saw a naked man smashing a guitar on the basketball court across the street. When the naked man noticed the crowd, he put the guitar down, turned around, and bent over, shaking his own musical instruments at the horrified congregation.

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Charleston, SC
A man was arguing with his “baby’s momma” on the phone when he tried to stick a knife into his kitchen table, missed the table, and stabbed himself in the leg.

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Grass Valley, CA
8:54 a.m. - A caller from the 300 block of Horizon Circle reported an agitated resident banging his head against the wall.

Found in the Union