Small Town Misfit

Tracy, CA
9:42 a.m.: A woman reported that people who live nearby have a rooster in their backyard that keep waking her up on the 2100 block of Lincoln Boulevard.

Found in the Tracy Press

Goleta Valley, CA
Using cans of spray paint and possibly hand shovels, a group of vandals caused $10,000 in damages at Sandpiper Golf Club. Although damages were quickly repaired, staff reported vandals left behind 60 to 80 holes in the putting greens and messages painted on the links.

At the fourth hole, the messages scrawled on the grass read, “Stolen Chumash Land” and “Genocide is wrong;” at the fifth, “Stop Wasting Water” and “People are Dying of Thirst;” and at hole seventh, “Rich=Lazy Parasites.”

The vandals are wanted on felony charges.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Grass Valley, CA
11:08 a.m. - A caller from a business on the 24100 block of Dark Horse Drive reported all the beer had been stolen.

Found in the Union

Redwood City, CA
895 Fifth Ave., 11:23 p.m. March 20 A man inside 7-Eleven was reported to be damaging doughnuts.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Charleston, SC
An underage drinker booked for public drunkenness said, “I didn’t know Charleston city cops were such douch [sic] bags.” When told he should take his arrest seriously, the kid replied, “I’ve got a 3.8 GPA. They won’t do shit to me.”

Found in the Charleston City Paper

Erie County, NY
A Depew man was in Lancaster Town Court when he approached a police officer and asked if he had to sign in for court. The police officer immediately smelled the odor of burnt marijuana on the man and escorted him outside. The suspect said, “I know what you’re going to ask me. I have some marijuana in my truck.” The officer found a clear, plastic bag containing the substance and a glass smoking pipe. The suspect was taken to the police station, charged, released on his own recognizance and returned back to court for the original citation.

Found in the Bee News

Tracy, CA
3:52 p.m.: A caller from the Tracy Press at 145 W. 10th St. reported that a man on a bike at the corner of 10th and A streets was overheard saying on his cell phone, “I stabbed someone! I stabbed someone!”

Found in the Tracy Press

Kalispell, MT
10:06 p.m. A Lakeside man called in juegos de poker para descargar,juegos de poker,juegos de poli pokerpoker texas on linejuegos de poker online gratis,juegos de poker gratis,juegos de poker para descargar gratisbonos poquerholdem poker gratisel pokerpoker pagina webbonus de poker en lineastreep poker on linestreep poker gratisworld series of pokerpoker lineapoker instrucciones de juegopoker texas holdem gratis,poker texas holdem,poker texas holdem onlineprobabilidades texas holdemjuego streep pokercard gamejugar poker omaha gratispoquer lineajugar card studstreep pokerstrep poker onlinejuegos pc pokercomo jugar a pokerpoker pceuropean pokerjuegos poker,juegos flash poker,juegos poker eroticojuego de poker gratuitopoker descargajuego poker omahamejor juego de pokerpoker caribe paginas webjugar poker en linea,poker en linea,juego de poker en lineapoker game online,stip poker online,poker onlinejuego al instante paginas webcartas de poker gratisstreep poker onlinede juegos de pokerjuego omaha poker en lineapai gow poker online,pai gow poker portal,pai gownaipes para pokerjugar 7 card studpoker gratis sin dinerodescargar juego poker gratisbonus de poker onlineapuestas en lineareglamentos pokerpoker online sin dineropoker portales webjuego poker erotico because he and his wife got into an argument after they drank some booze and got into a water fight. The wife was mad because her husband wouldn’t put their son to bed because the bed was wet from the water fight.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Kalispell, MT
10:34 p.m. A woman from Washington called in because she had received three troubling phone calls from her brother in Coram. On the first call he claimed he had shot himself. He called back and said he was drunk and he shot himself. He called again and said he was just drunk and he hadn’t been shot. Deputies checked on him and he seemed to be OK.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Kalispell, MT
1:19 p.m. Someone called in from Sunset Drive because there were arrows falling from the sky into their yard. A resident on Kings Way had been shooting them on their property. The shooter didn’t realize how far the arrows were going.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Grass Valley, CA
10:30 a.m. - A caller from a school on South Auburn Street reported the theft of andy.

Found in the Union

Goleta Valley, CA
A prospective juror was cited for disturbing the court when, during her interview, she began rambling about unrelated topics. The judge, concerned for her wellbeing, asked the agitated woman to leave the juror box.

While deputies escorted the woman, 56, out of the courtroom she continued her diatribe.

“Remember my name,” she shouted at other jurors as she was finally removed from the building.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice