Small Town Misfit

Kalispell, MT
3:51 p.m. A resident from Gunsight Loop called in because their neighbor came over and cut down one of their trees.

Found in the Flathead Beacon

Jefferson, GA
A Gillsville man caught with a handgun at the Jackson County Courthouse tried to talk his way out of trouble, explaining he is a member of the “Freedom World” and doesn’t have to follow laws that would stop people from carrying a handgun into a courthouse.

He was charged him with carrying a deadly weapon at a public gathering after he brought the handgun in a briefcase to the courthouse.

He told authorities he was at the courthouse to see a judge about probation, but authorities couldn’t find any proof that he was on probation.

Deputies also impounded his pickup truck, which did not have a government-issued license plate but a tag purportedly explaining why he is exempt from state law. It displays his name in bold red letters, as well as an address and telephone number in smaller type, and cites specific state laws as proof of his rights to travel and to private property.

Found in the Athens Banner-Herald

Rio Grande, NM
10:29 p.m. — A caller said a woman was driving a car with a man in the back seat who was using a slingshot to hit cars with rocks. The duo was pulled over on a traffic stop before police responded to the call.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Rio Grande, NM
2:39 p.m. — A caller said two “obvious” prostitutes were sitting outside the dialysis center. Police couldn’t find them.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Durango, CO
10:34 a.m. A man reported that someone was trying to spit on him in the 900 block of East Second Avenue.

Found in the Durango Herald

Lake Oswego, OR
3:30 p.m. A woman found a posting on the Internet that indicated she was “part of the Iraq party.”

Found in the Lake Oswego Review

Akron, OH

The text reads:

“A 38-year-old Cole Avenue man reported that his home was invaded on Sept. 9. The man said he was sitting home alone masturbating and watching a pornographic movie when a man came down into the basement, holding a gun, and started to videotape him. The man said that before he left, the intruder fed his dog some mushrooms and the dog died.”

Found in the Beacon Journal

Rio Grande, NM
8:54 p.m. — A Hilltop Y Road caller said a man came to his house asking for a ride and then threatened to shoot him. The man also wanted to sell him a drill for $10. Tribal Police transferred the call to State Police.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Rio Grande, NM
5:28 p.m. - A White Swan Road caller said her neighbors “stole her bird and placed it dead on the window.” She said they left their initials on the window next to the bird. Deputies went to the neighbors to question them but the adults of the household weren’t home.

5:30 p.m. — A Shadowood Lane caller said there was a lot of drug activity going on and she had been calling drug enforcement but nothing was getting done. She said her neighbors had been harassing her and “when they placed the dead bird on the window they left their initials.” No report was taken by the police.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Atlanta, GA
A 30-year-old man said he got home from work and found a checker/chess board in front of his apartment on Piedmont Avenue. A note was taped to the board. It read: “To [the man] from Satan. Welcome to hell. Play with me and you’ll see the dead. It’s not in your head Satan.”

Turns out the game board came from the lobby of the apartment complex.

The man said he didn’t know who was responsible for the threatening note/game board. Also, the man said he had been in conflict with evil spirits prior to this incident.

Found in Creative Loafing

Goleta Valley, CA
A couple in their 60s living in Isla Vista awoke on a Friday morning to find an unknown college student sleeping in their bed — with them.

According to one of the residents,the young woman, wearing only a T-shirt and panties, had climbed into their bed undetected over the course of the evening. When the co-ed awoke at 6:30 a.m., she was alarmed by her mistake.

With little trouble, deputies found her pants and shoes in the driveway and her cellular phone on the lawn. Noting abrasions on her forehead and nose, it seems the uninvited guest, 21, may have fallen and injured herself before entering the private Sabado Tarde residence through an unlocked sliding glass door. She said her last memories were “drinking shots” with friends on Del Playa Drive the previous evening.

The couple did not wish to prosecute the young woman for trespassing. After gathering her belongings, she was transported safely home.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Grass Valley, CA
8:42 a.m. - A caller from the 22000 block of East Hacienda Drive reported stuffed bears were burned and gas cans were nearby.

Found in the Union