Small Town Misfit

Rio Grande, NM
4:12 p.m. — A caller said the driver of a little red truck traveling on Industrial Park Road was unaware that his cargo was on fire. The call was transferred to the Española Fire Department.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

San Jose, CA
Is it me, or does this police blotter read like a script for the Twilight Zone?

• An intoxicated 21-year-old man “who decided to break some trees” was arrested.
• A person was driving recklessly in the parking lot at the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints.
• A resident found bones on the side of her driveway.
• A person in a suspicious vehicle with two others hid his face from a person who observed them.
• A person was sleeping in a truck with something resembling a rifle displayed in the rear window.
• A person at Little River Park told police a dog secured to a tree was pulling so hard it was about to break and that a young child in the same area was throwing dirt at passing cars.
• Six handguns were stolen from a residence by someone who entered through a rear window.
• A parent reported being concerned that a neighbor was taking pictures of his children while they were playing in the yard.
• A man on crutches with black cat in his backpack was reported to be yelling at people passing by the library.

Found in the San Jose Mercury News

Atlanta, GA
On Wellington Street, a woman said she walked out of her house and noticed her 2003 Kia Sedona was gone. She said she had left her car title inside the car. (She works for the Department of Motor Vehicles.) She said she put her $250 white-and-gold Dolce & Gabbana purse on her porch, and then walked inside to get the car insurance card. She said while she was inside, someone stole her purse.

Found in Creative Loafing

Morgan County, GA
On April 14 Anna Beth Elizabeth Vice, 17, Madison and Elizabeth Liddell Newton, 17, Madison were arrested and charged with shoplifting after they allegedly removed makeup from a Lions Club Road department store and did not pay for the items. Reports state that Newton allegedly took $36.25 worth of items and Vice allegedly took $9.68 worth of items.

Found in the Morgan County Citizen

Rio Grande, NM
6:41 p.m. — A Pacheco Lane caller said a man came to her house and insisted on shampooing her carpet. She said she thought it was a little odd, and requested police patrol the area.

Found in the Rio Grande Sun

Erie County, NY
A Lancaster man was charged with public lewdness on Como Park Boulevard. Police found the man with a pair of boxer shorts around his ankles. The suspect told police he was” getting a tan.”

Found in the Bee News

Garfield Heights, OH
Four women were caught shoplifting at Kmart May 14.

While the officer was securing them, one drove off in a car with two small children in the backseat in child safety seats. The police didn’t pursue her because of the two small children and the fact that the she had arrived with one of the detained women.

The problem is one of the children belonged to the other woman and the two had only met the day before. She didn’t even know where the other woman lived.

The police put out an “Amber Alert” after searching for her at several addresses. At each location, they informed the owners that if the child turns up to call the police immediately. That night the woman dropped off the child at a house on East 114th Street. The owner said he didn’t see who dropped off the little girl but spoke with a man in contact with the woman. The officers took the child back to the station and she will be taken to the Department of Child and Family Services.

The next day the woman called the police and said she didn’t steal anything and that the other woman had put her child into her car. She said she left because the police said they would contact 696-KIDS because she was shoplifting with her child.

The officer explained she had two warrants out for her arrest and other charges may be filed after the prosecutor reviews her case. At that point, the woman’s sister got on the phone and said the woman would turn herself in the next day.

The woman did turn herself in and was charged with theft, obstructing justice, falsification and kidnapping.

Found in the Garfield-Maple Sun

Medina, OH
Residents reported a man attempting to sell swords door-to-door at 2 p.m. Saturday on Branch Road. Police contacted the man, who said he sells decorative weapons at flea markets and fairs but denied knocking on any doors. He was asked to refrain from bothering residents

Found in the Sun News

Palm Beach, FL
On Monday, May 19, a man parked his car for repair at the Earl Stewart Toyota dealership in the southwest corner of the lot, and left his keys with the service department. Deputies later found his car on fire at 549 Merrinac Terrace.

Found in the Weekday Newspaper

Editor: This one’s rated NC-17, folks.
Atlanta, GA
An officer was working undercover on Hollywood Road. He said a woman flagged him down and hopped into his car. “When I stopped, she then asked me if I was them folks [police],” the officer wrote. “Then, [the woman] stated that she would give me ‘head’ and let me cum in her mouth for $30. She went on to state that if I chose not to cum in her mouth, that it would only be $20. [The woman] even went on to state that she would take her teeth out while she performed the act for me.” She was arrested for soliciting sex.

Found in Creative Loafing

Niagara Falls, NY
Man treated after shooting himself in foot

A 71-year-old Gasport man is recovering after accidentally shooting himself in the foot Thursday afternoon.

Charles Wilkinson told sheriff’s deputies he was cleaning his Colt .25 handgun at his Seaman Road home when he accidentally shot himself in the left foot.

Wilkinson said he was removing the magazine and racked the gun two or three times to clear the chamber. He then cleaned the gun and oiled it while sitting in his recliner, leaning back in the chair, the report said.

When he finished cleaning and oiling the gun, he said he pulled the trigger back to make sure the gun would work properly

He told deputies a cartridge must have been stuck in the chamber and the gun fired while it was pointing at his left foot.

Wilkinson drove himself to Inter-Community Memorial Hospital. Deputies responded to the hospital to interview him and determined the incident was indeed an accident.

Found in the Niagara Gazette

Columbia, SC
A 32-year-old man flagged down officers off of Devine Street on April 26 because he saw three men walking down the street carrying a tree, which was pulled out of a city “tree zone” near the intersection of Devine Street and Saluda Avenue. The tree cost $500.

Found in the Free Times