Small Town Misfit

Atlanta, GA
Around 1:30 p.m., an officer saw a nude man sleeping in a parking lot. “[He] had no clothes on and could be seen by anyone in the lot and by cars passing by on Peachtree Street,” the officer wrote. “[He] did have some clothes next to him.” The officer woke up the man and told him to get dressed. The 26-year-old man was arrested for indecency.

Found in Creative Loafing

Tracy, CA
7:51 a.m.: A man on the 200 block of Ranchero Way reported someone got inside his home through a back screen door, took down his smoke detector and swiped the battery inside it.

Found in the Tracy Press

Amhurst, NY
Police responded to an accident at Broadway and Central. As officers spoke to the man, they noticed signs of intoxication and the odor of alcohol. The man admitted to having beer, but he couldn’t remember how many. Then he said, “I’ll be completely honest with you. I’m smashed.”

Found in the Bee News

Grass Valley, CA
2:48 a.m - A caller from Sierra Nevada Memorial Hospital reported a vehicle pulled up to the emergency room with an intoxicated person in the rear seat. The driver apparently was attempting to drop the person off when he began kicking the windows out of the vehicle. The driver sped off with the intoxicated man and responding officers were unable to locate the vehicle.

Found in the Union

Grass Valley, CA
3:33 p.m. - A man walked into a business on the 200 block of Neal Street and started saying extremely negative things about women to the employees. The man had gray hair, missing teeth and was dressed as a cowboy. The man left but said he would come back for dinner.

Found in the Union

Savannah, GA
Police were called to West 40th Street on a report of shots fired. A man told officers that another man had fired at him with a flare gun. He said there is an ongoing dispute between the man and himself. He said he was standing outside his home when the suspect approached him and said, “Is that shit over?”

The man replied, “Yes,” and started to walk away. He heard something click and looked back and saw the suspect had a flare gun pointing at his face.

In an effort to protect himself, the man slapped the gun out of the suspect’s hand. The gun went off and the flare went into the bushes.

An officer went around the corner to the suspect’s apartment. When the suspect came to the door, he was placed in hand cuffs for everyone’s safety, but advised he wasn’t under arrest.

The officer asked where the gun was and the suspect said it was in his room. The flare gun was sitting on a table near the door of the room. It had one spent shell casing in it and smelled like it had recently been fired.

The suspect told the officer he and the victim were having drinks when he said he had a flare gun and was going to fire it. He said he fired it because he had never fired one before, and that he never pointed it at the victim.

Found in Connect Savannah

Strongsville, OH
An Ohio State Highway Patrol trooper reported seeing a naked man in the grass just off the turnpike near West 130th Street.

The sight got even more bizarre when the man jumped on a John Deere tractor to get away.

The incident took place about 5:20 p.m. May 28.

The trooper called Strongsville police for assistance when he realized the man was on the other side of the fence and could not be reached from the turnpike. He watched the man ride the tractor to Blazey Trail, a report said.

Officers found the tractor, but no one was around — clothed or otherwise. They knocked on the door where it was found, but no one answered.

The trooper said he would follow up on the incident.

Found in the Sun Star

Goleta Valley, CA
Carefully disguising rolls of nickels as rolls of quarters, a con artist entered a Fairview Avenue bank, exchanging the fraudulent rolls for $400 in cash. A bank employee made the discovery after the exchange took place and the thief was no longer in the area.

According to the report, the suspect disguised the rolls of nickels by placing two quarters at the end of each roll and binding the nickels with athlete’s tape. The nickel deposit totaled $81.71 rather than $400.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Goleta Valley, CA
Two women, 46 and 45, gave beachgoers a thrill when others found them showering nude at a Goleta Beach public restroom. Witnesses say the females were “thrusting their breasts in a lewd manner” while onlookers took photographs of the daring duo.

On the scene just before 8 p.m., deputies met the women — now dressed — lounging on the grass outside the restroom. A witness, who remained on the scene until authorities arrived, signed a citizen’s arrest form to have the two “provocative women” arrested.

Found in the Goleta Valley Voice

Charlotte, NC
A 34-year-old woman said she was swindled out of $2,500 at an Exxon gas station. A person she didn’t know approached her trying to sell her name brand perfume at a discounted price. The woman decided she could buy a bunch of the perfume and sell it at a higher price later. She gave the person the money, but the person never returned with the perfume.

Found in Creative Loafing

Columbia, SC
A 47-year-old man left a Hampton Street barbershop May 15 and a woman followed him out. A few steps later a man came up to him and demanded money, saying, “Give me $30 for being with my woman.” The 47-year-old said, “I haven’t been with your woman,” and kept walking west on Hampton Street. But then he and the man started to argue. The man again demanded money for “being with his woman.” Then the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a box cutter, so the 47-year-old tried to step back but the suspect came at him, cutting him on the forehead. He said that after he got cut he threw $15 on the ground and the man walked away. The victim then ran to call the police.

Found in the Free Times

Cincinnati, OH
Forget sheet cakes and party hats – when Scarlett Doyle’s birthday rolled around, police say she celebrated by getting hammered and trying to beat up her mother-in-law.

Doyle, of Muncie , Ind. , was arrested just before 2 this morning on a disorderly conduct charge.

Doyle was seen stumbling through front yards in the 2800 block of Bodley Avenue in East Price Hill, a police report says, screaming obscenities and ringing the neighbors’ doorbells.

At one point, police saw Doyle grab her mother-in-law’s arm and try to fight the woman.

When officers arrested the petite blond, she told them she was drunk because it was her birthday.

On Thursday, Scarlett Doyle turned 33.

Found in the Cincinnati Enquirer